


The Last Wish

by LindenE



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 18:50:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20747048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindenE/pseuds/LindenE
Summary: Time was different in the Realm of the Raven Queen...





	The Last Wish

Time was different in the Realm of the Raven Queen.

Minutes were hours, years were days, seconds were decades, sometimes all existing at once together, sometimes separated by stretched aching silver strands. The definitions brought from life often didn’t work well in death, but then again, why would they? 

Love remained, though. He remembered love. He remembered the Why of why he was here, voluntarily, before he could/should have been.

There were things that no longer mattered, in the widened perspective that death granted, and things that remained to question. Was it fair, the deal he’d made to save his sister, when the cost was paid not only by him, but by Keyleth? Had he had the right to bargain away his life when it was no longer solely his, but shared by someone else? In choosing to trade his life, had he ruined hers? And even though she chose it, had he had the right to even put that choice in front of her?

These were the questions that occupied the days, or months, or seconds or centuries or aeons of his existence after his parting from life in the Platinum Sanctuary of Vasselheim. When the bony growths of antlers emerged from the tattooed mark on his upper arm, it felt like rebellion, felt like the one thing he still had to cling to in an existence otherwise owned by a goddess. And for an uncountable time, that was what Was, drifting into shadowy billows of centuries, coming into sharp focus for seconds, and off again into the soft, soothing service of the Queen.

What was now?

What was then?

What was when?

But he remembered love, and when the summons came to the glowing figure on the clifftop who pulled him into her arms, into solid warmth and tears, he remembered her, too, and the others surrounding them. And Keyleth, his anchor, silent, watching. Unfaceable without the push from his sister, too many apologies owed, but they were alive and that was the important thing. That was what they needed to focus on and remember, not sorrow or loss or pity.

He remembered love. He remembered pain. He remembered joy, and friendship, and fellowship.

For the last time, he walked away.

**Author's Note:**

> Liam referred to Stephen King's short story "The Jaunt" to explain how he saw Vax's experience of the year's time between his death and the wedding. It's an unsettling work and I recommend reading it, although you probably won't come away happy.
> 
> I just wanted Vax to be happy, but we don't always get what we want.


End file.
